About to bid farewell to Autumn, where my heart resides awaiting a reset every year. There was a time where I thought sadness ended with a full stop. No continuation, just the end. Until I noticed the seasons on repeat. Year after year, same process but a different renewal. It was autumn which prepped the vessels for the cold winter, it prepared for the gentle cleanse, so by spring nature is born again. Revitalised. Renewed. Recovered.
Whilst early nights frighten some, I enjoy basking in the darkness as the city lights sparkle and create magic amongst the stars. I could walk hours aimlessly in the night with my head in the air. Lost in the fog and sparkle, as if the drama of the day settles and the pressure of life creates diamonds. The beauty of living is the daily reset, and if you choose to listen to the sun’s greeting you will forget the qualms of yesterday, to immerse yourself in today. The cold breeze takes away the senses and the numbness allows a shift in focus. Where I have bad days, I choose to renew myself, shed my leaves and begin tomorrow a fresh. When the depression was at it’s peak this was something I was incapable of doing. I suppose now the fear of returning to a dark place pushes the soul to move and not recede in the ventures of yesterday.
Just as the trees do not beg the leaves to stay, we should not beg what was, use to be and could’ve been to stay. The leaves like moments become golden and bid farewell. Having shaped the tree through the year, they leave their imprint in it’s growth. Now the truck is taller and the branches more stretched.
The moments I cherish the most is when the trees are semi naked; where some memories are difficult to shed. But the beauty is allowing another person to dance amongst the fallen moments, kicking them in the air. The sun can now finally invigorate even the darkest corners of our mind. Autumn is letting go. It is the first step to change and to a better you. By letting go you can focus your energy on your regrowth. Being completely bare allows us to see our true self and evaluate how we will like to grow. So by spring we are growing and by summer we are glowing. The metamorphose is what attracts the people and elevates our contentness. It’s not always possible to foresee the potential resultant of being stripped bare but the process is worth the struggles of letting go. It can be painful and difficult to confront depths of your soul and the voices that hold us back, but it always leaves us stronger. The vulnerability of being bare, induces a confidence to love not only the good but also the reflection of bad within us. Embracing the change and growth allows us to become more certain of ourselves and expand the self-love. There is a beauty in witnessing the change of colour, shedding of leaves and cooling of the season’s temperament. Almost magical and very much like the changes a person goes through before growth. Until we widen our horizons outstretch and look beyond our immediate vision it will be near impossible to appreciate the beauty of our change.
So they ask me why do you love autumn, the onset of cold? Simple – it’s the beginning of a better me, a more content me. The cold offset by the warm tones of fallen leaves and rich sunsets, mimic the years worth of memory embodied in the wealth of gold. Appreciation of the sun-rays warmth remind us despite the cold, light is never too far to comfort the soul and warm the darkest corners of our mind. Autumn with your rich colours and hidden beauty I bid you farewell until next year.